Image by Ava Lowery via FlickrIt's been a month now and it's still hard. So many emotions to deal with on any given day. Trying to answer Ashley's questions can be difficult. Then there is missing Tris and dealing with the fact he often doesn't want to talk to me. And finally there is the overwhelming feeling of loss. I swear the death of a marriage is like a real death. I'm grieving. When someone you love dies, you don't just stop loving them. It's the same with this. Sometimes I am strong and can handle everything with ease. Then the insomnia comes and I'm up for 70+ hours and get emotional. Anger, sadness, loss, it's all a jumbled mess. I'm still taking it one day at a time. There are great days and there are rotten ones. Fortunately the rotten ones are getting to be not as often.Today was a rotten one. Then my grandmother stopped by. All it took was a hug and I felt a little better. There are people who love me. It helps to be reminded of that sometimes.
Thanks to all of you who keep the kids and I in your prayers. It means the world to me. Ash and I are making it, one day at a time.
3 comments:
I am so glad your grandma came by! Great to hear. Your in my thoughts, prayers and every now and then in my arms! Your stronger than you give yourself credit for. And still...dig in deep and use the anger to heal the grief. Sometimes we heal from the scars better than the open wounds.
I'm glad that the rotten days are getting fewer. Hang in there, you're worth it.
it will get better. i know hearing that seems like a joke but it is true. i lift you up daily ~hugs
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